Note to Self
My life is simple - and complicated - at the same time. Simply, I feel what I am doing at this time - in this place - is the right thing for me. And, I know if it changes something will fill the space and be the right thing - at this time - in this place. But how I got here is far more complicated - and clarity of thought does not come easy for me. When the moments do come - often without warning - they bring deep insight into my journey.
I have retired twice - gone back to work - and here I am today. Only this time it feels different. After years of advising, coaching, and facilitating others - serving as a catalyst for change in others - the time has come for me to focus on myself - advising, coaching, and facilitating - me. To remind myself that to be the change I want to see in the world is as simple as saying yes and as complicated as following though with purpose and intention.
Not too long ago I strained my back - acting like I was 17 only I’m 70 - and the pain would not go away. So, I went to the doctor. As I was getting ready to leave he said to me: “it might be time for you to be less a driver and more a passenger - it might be time to accept help for the heavy lifting” - which - in due time I realized was just as much a life lesson as advice for healing my back. Simple yet complicated hard work lay ahead.
Over time I have come to understand that as passengers we don’t have to give up our autonomy or right to choose what we do - we allow ourselves to be more present with less need to do the myriad of things others can help us do. It was time for reflection - to listen to my voice, harvest my gifts and better understand the ebb and flow of my elder self.
I am happy to be in the October of my life - on the edge of seventy - with time to take stock of a rich and fruitful life - not to rewrite my narrative - or right some long buried wrong I probably cannot remember correctly. No - for me it is time to harness lessons learned and share my insights, explorations and discoveries as an elder nomad.